important matters

sorry it's been so long but I've been attending to some important business. Mainly, the other day my office received it's usual shipment of cookies and chips and snacks and sodas and other various sundries designed to keep us wired on sugar and caffeine. I wandered over to the cabinet to see what junk I felt like getting high on, when I ran into the temp, this actor guy who's been sitting in down the hall. We nodded, gave each other a "sup" and kind of poked around in the candy until we came across an impressive deposit of single serving, six cookie Oreo packs.

"Holy shi-" the temp said.

He began pulling them out and lining up on the counter and soon there was a mighty blue river of pre-packaged cookies.

We stared at them for a moment. The light in the kitchen buzzed.

"Bet you can't them all," the temp said to me.
"What, eat these Oreos?"
"Yeah. I beat you can't eat them all."

I counted the packs - 18. That meant we were looking at 18 packs of 6 which meant there was 108 Oreo cookies that this kid whose name I didn't even know was daring me to eat.

"Please. I could totally eat all these," I said.
"No way, man. Not in a million years."

I picked up one pack and checked out the nutritional info. One pack was equal to one serving which was equal to 250 calories. So if I ate all the cookies I would be ingest about 4500 calories. Not too out of my range for a day but certainly the wrong kind of calories.

"So? You think you can do it?"
"Yeah, I mean, yeah. It's easy. Way too easy."
"Okay, if it's too easy, then you've got to eat them all in one hour."

Now I wasn't so sure. I mean, I figured I could eat all the cookies, but could I eat them all in one hour? Did I really want to consume twice the recommended daily intake of calories to impress the temp who spent all his time reading scripts and avoiding answering the phone?

Yes, goddamn it. I did want to impress him.

"I'll think about it," I said.
"We'll do it at lunch on Friday. Don't eat breakfast."

So maybe I will. But I have a few more days to reconsider.